Parents deserve Respect and Love

We are living in a world where everyone is busy with their life, to
survive and be ahead of others. All are in hurry, be it at work, in
business, in politics, sports, everyone is in a rush to beat others and
prove to the world that see what I can do or what I am capable of. But,
honestly, no one knows why exactly they are on this earth and what is
the purpose of their presence, why are they born.

Parents are the most gracious and soothing factor in our lives. They are
the ones who raise their children no matter what their situation is,
whether financially or otherwise. Bringing a child into this world is
not a joke, it needs thinking and agreement between two partners. A
couple thinks and looking at their financial position etc., they decide
that yes now is the time we can plan for the baby. Once, the baby comes
into the world, it’s a new world, joy and happiness is what this child
brings in their life. And with that new responsibility for raising this
little angel. It needs commitment from both parents. This cannot be the
responsibility of only either Mum or Dad, both need to commit and
understand each other how to raise this child, nurture and cherish this
newborn. And yes, the parents do, they will not eat themselves unless
and until the baby is not fed. Parents keep track of every step and each
move the baby makes, capture that in their memories and nowadays keep
every moment captured in a video. A mother is a gem, she is the one who
carries this baby for 09 months in her belly, the pain and agony she
goes through the whole time she only knows it, and after giving birth to
a child, feeds the baby her milk for close to 03 years. How much love
and affection she has for her baby and just cherishes every second this
baby of her is growing. The first smile, the first sound baby makes, the
first step a baby takes, and so on damn everything.

In Quran, it mentioned that if one wants to touch the grass of heaven
and feel it, they should touch their mother’s feet, because under the
feet of the mother is heaven. Almighty, also has mentioned that if there
was no me, then you had to pray and bow down in front of your parents as
they would have been your God. So, much respect and elevation are given
to the parents by the Almighty, imagine. Parents are one of the
blessings of the Almighty, they teach and help us more than any other
person in our life, they are always ready to support us through thick
and thin, and they feel happy and proud of our achievements. At any
stage of life, parents never leave their children alone or helpless.
They always protect and guide their children about life, struggle, how
to achieve and how to be the best in the world. They want their children
to have the best education. Some parents cannot afford private schooling
but to make sure their child gets the best education they cut their
expenses to make sure the school fee is paid.

My parents sent me to the best school in our town. It was a missionary
school with the best schooling system, with kids studying from rich
families, my parents were teachers, teaching in Government schools where
the salary is not that good, but they get manageable salaries, despite
that, they made my brother and myself study in the best school, I know
how they used to cut on monthly expenses and make sure we get best of
all. They used to make a monthly budget and stick to that. I know it was
sometimes very tough for them, but they used to manage. That’s what
parents do for their children, and what is then our responsibility, to
give our best, make sure we top in our studies, be good and obedient
kids and respect our parents for their sacrifices for us.

It is our responsibility to understand what they had been through and do
our best to make them feel proud and make them realize that your efforts
are not going down the drain but are worth and we will prove that and
make you both feel proud. As a child grows and starts understanding the
world and society, at the same time he/she needs to understand the value
of parents, what they mean and what level of respect they deserve.

Now, let’s talk about parents, we talked about their commitment to their
child and how to bring up this kid. Some parents give so much love to
the kid, with pampering and making sure whatever stuff the kid asks for
is immediately available, etc. I understand that the love for your child
is eternal, and no one can question that but there is something called
disciple, what is good and what is bad, this also needs to be taught to
the children otherwise it may be a problem when a child is in teens and
his youth. The first and most important school for a child is at their
home, their parents are the first teachers always. Before a kid is sent
to school, the education starts far before that in the mother’s lap. As
a parent you need to make sure your kid understands:

– What respect for parents means?

– How to respect others and gain respect?

– What is discipline?

– When to talk, where, and what?

– What is society?

– How to differentiate between good and bad?

– What is appropriate and inappropriate?

– Teach them the right attitude

– Teach them manners and discipline

And above points are never-ending, you must keep track of a child and
watch the patterns, and if any deviations correct them. Bringing a child
into this world does not mean a few years of pampering and love and then
leaving to school to take care of rest, where one day you find your
child is into bad company, and into bad influences, and you don’t
understand what to do. Do not leave the children at the mercy of
society, unless and until you have taught the values you have and want
your child to inherit. Sometimes it’s too late and your kid is out of
your hands, and you are helpless to get it fixed. So, as a parent, there
are a lot of responsibilities on you to make sure tomorrow you feel
proud of and say he/she is my kid and see what our values are which they
exhibit. Parents need to keep in close contact with what is going on at
school and know if the child has a problem that needs attention. This
requires parents to give up a lot of their free time and for Dads, this
means maybe giving up watching football on Sunday or Monday nights
because the child needs help with something or say for example math
homework or some school project. Kids take a lot of time and patience
and then if there is more than one—it sometimes takes both parents to
keep up. Kids have interests too and a lot of times it isn’t something
the parents are interested in, but parents can learn a thing or two
along the way too—so it is not wasted time to try to get interested in
what they are trying to learn how to do.

Children have multiple needs that must be met by their parents. Children
need validation, security, discipline, attention, and affection. If
those needs are not met the child ends up with an abandonment wound. The
child will be distracted in school because he needs an external focus at
all times to avoid the psychological pain he is in. It is impossible to
be a good student if you can’t even concentrate due to the amount of
abandonment pain you are In. Your kids are a gift from God, and you must
give them all the love you have. The child complains because he’s in the
freeze response playing dead in the parent’s presence. As parents, we
shouldn’t want to be feared by our children we should be seen as a safe
base, so the child develops a secure attachment. Yelling and hitting
your kids is only what humans do, no animal hurts their own offspring.
In essence, parents’ responsibility is to see that children become
responsible and capable adults who can pursue their joy and happiness
without harming other people. Education (both formal and informal at
home) plays an important role here. Children should be able to use their
resources efficiently so that they can achieve a higher level of joy and
happiness. This does not mean that there should be a narrowing down of
their choices. They should be able to do well within their constraints.
Parents need to discipline their children but at the same time no need
to be pushy and overprotective. Say, if the kid is an average student,
don’t nag him/her to keep studying well and not letting come out of the
schoolbooks and shout, etc. This way your kid gets irritated and
frustrated and it makes them more to hate everything around. Rather than
support them and make them understand it’s okay to be average and that
nothing will stop them to do a lot of things. Parents need to identify
what are other activities their kid is interested in, say football,
singing, painting, etc. help them enhance their passion and you never
know if they can be the heroes of their field.

As a parent, unlike what people tend to believe that once your children
turn eighteen years old and are considered adults in western countries,
they are on their own. Well, let me tell you that as parents of our
children regardless of their age, they’re still our children and it’s a
lifelong responsibility to help them, give them advice, and provide them
with our home for them in a time of need. We brought them into this
world and it’s up to us to see that you’ll look after them as long as
you can and your alive. That’s a PARENT!

Despite, all the areas I talked about and the responsibilities of
parents towards their kids, many children do not treat and value their
parents in the way they get in their childhood. Arguing restlessly,
ignoring due to other life activities, and misbehaving, are the common
actions that most of the children of this era do with their parents.
When we are young, we are so busy starting our new families, thus in all
of this, we do not have time to see that our parents are also getting
old, and it is the time when they need our support, love, and care. It
is not only unfair to parents but also consider an evil act and sinful
deed.

Why are there so many old-age homes around the world? We see that old
parents are left in these homes and Children are busy with their lives
and families, and not even once realize what these old parents have done
for them. How they brought them up, fed, them, gave them the best
schooling and education, and made them a person capable of standing on
their own feet in the world. Parents deserve the same respect and care
and love as you deserved when you were a kid. Old parents become the
same as when you were children and required support at every step. Our
parents need constant health checkups, proper healthy food, clothing,
etc. We as children have a big responsibility towards our parents, they
have to be respected, taken care of, and to be given everything they
have done for us. Children cannot shed off their responsibility saying
because of busy schedules or family or say moving to another country or
place. There are scenarios where Children drop their parents at the old
age home and abandon them, how sad is it? Also, Children’s negligence
and not caring attitude drive the old parents to go to old age homes, at
least they will get the care and respect they deserve there.

The increase in old age homes in metropolitan cities is not a good
development. Over three decades ago, the thought of older parents being
sent to old age homes was not easily accepted in India due to the
traditional mindset and cultural ethos. The most obvious reason for this
trend is the migration of children from their hometowns to metropolitan
cities in search of better education, jobs, and improved lifestyles.
While the younger generation has no difficulty in moving out of their
parental homes and adapting to new lifestyles, the elderly population
chooses to remain back due to the attached sentiments of the place. In
the western world, old people are seen standing by the roadside and
holding signs which say, “talk to me for 05min” or “can you hug me”. How
sad is this, why are we leaving our loved, adored parents at the mercy
of other people? Lucky are those children who have their parents with
them and have their blessings. I adored my mum and dad; they taught me a
lot and made me a man who is confident and knows what a blessing of
parents means. It is true that your blessing of parents is the most
precious gift one has. I used to always to my parents, please pray for
me, any new thing, or any new journey I was about to take, I used to
tell them to pray for my success. Because their prayers are the first
which Almighty answers. As I mentioned at the start, Heaven is under
your mother’s feed and the prayer of your father is a super precious
blessing that never goes unanswered, remember this. At the family level,
the younger generation should be more thoughtful about the elderly in
the homes and should not leave them all alone. In case they need to
leave their villages for work, they should take the elderly people with
them or should make alternative arrangements so that the eldest family
member is not alone at home and does not become a victim of negligence
and abuse. The elderly people enjoy the company of their grandchildren,
and the kids should not be prevented from mixing with their
grandparents. They need regular health checkups and medications. The
younger generation must cater to their needs in their last days and
should not allow them to go into depression

So, whatever situation you are in, wherever you are settled because of a
job etc., never abandon your parents. They deserve your love and
affection. As we grow in our life, we also know our parents won’t be
with us forever, everyone has to taste death at some point in our life
journey, so why get involved in a sin where our parents curse us and
hate us and cry for us and say why we brought our child to this world
who deliberately abandoned us. Never take a curse from parents, because
if it happens you will never be successful in life nor will be happy, no
matter how much you earn or have a great position. Hurting parents is
the biggest sin, a sinful act that the Almighty doesn’t like and sends
the wrath on those people.

To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to
lose both looks like carelessness.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of
Being Earnest